This is our adoption profile blog. We set up this blog in the hopes of connecting with our special birth mom and finding the child who was meant to be part of our family. We are advocates of an open adoption, and are willing to make a plan that suits both our child's birth parents and our family.
29 December 2011
03 July 2011
A Little Faith
Prayerfully and carefully use your own intelligence and your own resources to choose a path that seems right to you. Then become anxiously engaged in walking that path. When the time for course correction comes, He will be there to help you and to guide you." ~Von G. Keetch
Start Moving - July 2011 Ensign
I read this article this morning before church. It was very powerful and made me think about all the times I sit and wait for answers instead of actively seeking for the things I should be doing.
Photography by Melissa L Jensen ~ Please do not use without permission
18 November 2010
...and now we wait.
Our 5th child has led us to adoption.
This route was not part of our original plan...
...but this is how he/she is meant to come to us and be part of our family.
We are sure this wasn't your original plan either...
...so the child you are carrying must be truly amazing.
They will change all of our lives...
They will change all of our lives...
...for good.
Photography by Melissa L Jensen ~ please do not use without permission
17 November 2010
What is open adoption?
I just read this article, and wanted to share it. It is from Adoptive Families magazine.
Adoption - Adoptive Families (link to the original article)
Open adoption begins with a tingle in your stomach when your social worker calls to say that a woman, who’s just given birth, read your portfolio. She wants to meet you. It means researching what flower color means “gratitude,” so you can stop at the florist on your way to the adoption agency for the first meeting. It’s pretending to remain calm as you walk in, with your husband and two-year-old son (and a bouquet of peach roses), and praying that your son won’t have a meltdown, giving the prospective birthmother doubts about your parenting abilities. (The toy train and snacks you brought along keep him busy.)
Open adoption is to suddenly love this woman you don’t know. It’s leaving the meeting knowing you have no control over what happens next. In between the daily calls and e-mails to your social worker for encouragement, you just wonder. How can this young woman smile when her baby is not with her, but is staying with a transition family? What does her baby—in two weeks, perhaps, your baby—look like? Later, you send her an e-mail, thanking her for considering you as her son’s future family. (And although you feel guilty about it, you pray that the birthparents sign the final paperwork.)
Open adoption is rushing to buy bottles, formula, and diapers on that amazing fourteenth day. It’s posting to friends on Facebook, that, surprise, you weren’t sure it was going to happen, so you didn’t mention it, but you’re going to be parents tomorrow at noon.
Open adoption is bringing a child home! Bliss, as you hug your sweet-smelling baby, and sadness, as you think about the birthmom. It’s e-mailing her to let her know the son she loves, but couldn’t raise, is safe at his new home. It’s deciding to share his first photos, but wondering whether she wants to see them. Then there’s the announcement to write. Do you include her name? Do you send her one?
Open adoption is learning the opinions of your extended family. A few relatives must have seen the same TV show about birthmoms taking back their kids. It’s explaining your state’s adoption laws to them, and trying to convince them, and maybe yourself, that there are no “take-backs.” Before long, you might decide to stop mentioning that you have an open adoption, at least until you can discuss it without getting upset. Over time, you learn to give a short, respectful answer to the question, “Why did she give him up?”
Of course, you have questions, too. Is there a chance the birthfather might not hold up his end of the open adoption contract? If that’s the case, you’ll need to figure out how to explain this to your child as he grows. You know the birthmom has information about him, but you shouldn’t ask, right? It’s realizing that you need to make your own rules about open-adoption etiquette.
Open adoption is sharing stories with your children about how one of them used to be in your tummy, while the other used to be in “M’s” tummy. It’s trying to keep M’s name a part of regular conversation. It’s holding on to Christmas presents and e-mails and letters from M, to share, someday, with your baby.
Open adoption is making a mental note to ask M whom your baby resembles, since she’s seen lots of photos by now. She writes back, and tells you your son has a smile like his birthmother’s, and eyes like his birthfather.
And there are the twists and turns that you’ve been told to expect with open adoption. It’s extending an invitation to the birthmother to get together, and accepting the fact that she’s not yet ready. It’s acknowledging that, after 10 months, the birthfather has not been in contact. It’s sending a photo album to your social worker to keep on file for him, just in case.
Open adoption means opening your lives to a new set of family members, who love your baby as much as you do. It’s looking forward to your next meeting with the birthmother, when she is truly ready to meet. But, in the meantime, it’s smiling when you see her name in your e-mail inbox.
MARCIA MAYNARD lives with her husband and two sons in Providence, Rhode Island. She writes about children and education.
ILLUSTRATION: THINKSTOCK.COM
Back To Home Page
©2011 Adoptive Families. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited.
Adoption - Adoptive Families (link to the original article)
Open adoption begins with a tingle in your stomach when your social worker calls to say that a woman, who’s just given birth, read your portfolio. She wants to meet you. It means researching what flower color means “gratitude,” so you can stop at the florist on your way to the adoption agency for the first meeting. It’s pretending to remain calm as you walk in, with your husband and two-year-old son (and a bouquet of peach roses), and praying that your son won’t have a meltdown, giving the prospective birthmother doubts about your parenting abilities. (The toy train and snacks you brought along keep him busy.)
Open adoption is to suddenly love this woman you don’t know. It’s leaving the meeting knowing you have no control over what happens next. In between the daily calls and e-mails to your social worker for encouragement, you just wonder. How can this young woman smile when her baby is not with her, but is staying with a transition family? What does her baby—in two weeks, perhaps, your baby—look like? Later, you send her an e-mail, thanking her for considering you as her son’s future family. (And although you feel guilty about it, you pray that the birthparents sign the final paperwork.)
Open adoption is rushing to buy bottles, formula, and diapers on that amazing fourteenth day. It’s posting to friends on Facebook, that, surprise, you weren’t sure it was going to happen, so you didn’t mention it, but you’re going to be parents tomorrow at noon.
Open adoption is bringing a child home! Bliss, as you hug your sweet-smelling baby, and sadness, as you think about the birthmom. It’s e-mailing her to let her know the son she loves, but couldn’t raise, is safe at his new home. It’s deciding to share his first photos, but wondering whether she wants to see them. Then there’s the announcement to write. Do you include her name? Do you send her one?
Open adoption is learning the opinions of your extended family. A few relatives must have seen the same TV show about birthmoms taking back their kids. It’s explaining your state’s adoption laws to them, and trying to convince them, and maybe yourself, that there are no “take-backs.” Before long, you might decide to stop mentioning that you have an open adoption, at least until you can discuss it without getting upset. Over time, you learn to give a short, respectful answer to the question, “Why did she give him up?”
Of course, you have questions, too. Is there a chance the birthfather might not hold up his end of the open adoption contract? If that’s the case, you’ll need to figure out how to explain this to your child as he grows. You know the birthmom has information about him, but you shouldn’t ask, right? It’s realizing that you need to make your own rules about open-adoption etiquette.
Open adoption is sharing stories with your children about how one of them used to be in your tummy, while the other used to be in “M’s” tummy. It’s trying to keep M’s name a part of regular conversation. It’s holding on to Christmas presents and e-mails and letters from M, to share, someday, with your baby.
Open adoption is making a mental note to ask M whom your baby resembles, since she’s seen lots of photos by now. She writes back, and tells you your son has a smile like his birthmother’s, and eyes like his birthfather.
And there are the twists and turns that you’ve been told to expect with open adoption. It’s extending an invitation to the birthmother to get together, and accepting the fact that she’s not yet ready. It’s acknowledging that, after 10 months, the birthfather has not been in contact. It’s sending a photo album to your social worker to keep on file for him, just in case.
Open adoption means opening your lives to a new set of family members, who love your baby as much as you do. It’s looking forward to your next meeting with the birthmother, when she is truly ready to meet. But, in the meantime, it’s smiling when you see her name in your e-mail inbox.
MARCIA MAYNARD lives with her husband and two sons in Providence, Rhode Island. She writes about children and education.
ILLUSTRATION: THINKSTOCK.COM
Back To Home Page
©2011 Adoptive Families. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited.
07 September 2010
Maybe the 3rd time will be the charm...
We are preparing for our third homestudy. Sally Lee is coming to the house next Tuesday morning to have a look around. She did our first homestudy and we had the second one done in Alaska.
We still haven't found a home for everything yet, and there are a few piles of things that I'm just going to have to hide...lol. We spent the whole Labor Day vacation working on organizing the garage and the storage spaces we have...and they aren't done. We have four boxes of stuff to donate and we are waiting for the movers to come back and do a rubbish pick up. We still have every single box and piece of packing paper in and around the house. Most of it is stacked neatly on the lanai out back, but we ran out of room there so there is some in the house and some out in the garage.
I'm not ready! =)
If only there were a way to stop time for a bit....maybe I could catch up! =)
Photography by Melissa L Jensen ~ please do not use without permission
22 August 2010
The Choice
by: Michael McLean; excerpt from:"From God's Arms To My Arms To Yours"
Photography by Melissa L Jensen ~ please do not use without permission
When you think about it, adoption is as much a miracle as birth itself. Maybe more so, when you consider that for everyone involved it starts from a place of impossible choices: nearly unbearable fear, haunting doubts, interspersed with glimpses of hope brought into partial focus only when seen through the lens of unselfishness. And at the moment of heartbreaking courage, when a selfless choice is made, there are absolutely no guarantees...well, maybe one: that every conceivable outcome of the journey had been imagined in sleepless nights and endless days. Still, in spite of all who would say it's beyond possibility that hope or peace or joy could be found, it is.
Photography by Melissa L Jensen ~ please do not use without permission
When you think about it, adoption is as much a miracle as birth itself. Maybe more so, when you consider that for everyone involved it starts from a place of impossible choices: nearly unbearable fear, haunting doubts, interspersed with glimpses of hope brought into partial focus only when seen through the lens of unselfishness. And at the moment of heartbreaking courage, when a selfless choice is made, there are absolutely no guarantees...well, maybe one: that every conceivable outcome of the journey had been imagined in sleepless nights and endless days. Still, in spite of all who would say it's beyond possibility that hope or peace or joy could be found, it is.
25 July 2010
Back in Hawaii
We are finally almost all the way moved. We had our things packed up on June 14th and have been living in hotels and the houses of our family and friends ever since. We finally made it to our new home in Oahu on Friday and we are so grateful to be here! We don't have any of our things yet...beds, couches, dishes...but we have a home, air mattresses, borrowed pots and pans, and each other so life is great! We will be calling our adoption worker this week sometime and setting up a time to meet with her. She is the sweetest lady and we are glad to be able to work with her again.
I have been having a hard time with knowing what to do next. It seems that as our children are getting older, my desires to adopt an infant are getting smaller. I still think that it is a route we could go, but I have been thinking more about a foster/adoption situation with an older child...which I have previously been "scared" of. It really isn't up to me...seeing as we do not have the capabilities to create another child, but I have had recent confirmations that we do still have another child waiting to be part of our family. I continue to pray for the many women in the world who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant and unsure of what paths they should choose. I don't think adoption is meant for every unplanned pregnancy, but I do believe that many more girls/women would choose adoption if they knew what an amazing thing open adoption is. I may not have the option for an open adoption if we decide to pursue a foster/adoption, but I still think that is the best option for infant placements.
God bless you!
MJ
I have been having a hard time with knowing what to do next. It seems that as our children are getting older, my desires to adopt an infant are getting smaller. I still think that it is a route we could go, but I have been thinking more about a foster/adoption situation with an older child...which I have previously been "scared" of. It really isn't up to me...seeing as we do not have the capabilities to create another child, but I have had recent confirmations that we do still have another child waiting to be part of our family. I continue to pray for the many women in the world who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant and unsure of what paths they should choose. I don't think adoption is meant for every unplanned pregnancy, but I do believe that many more girls/women would choose adoption if they knew what an amazing thing open adoption is. I may not have the option for an open adoption if we decide to pursue a foster/adoption, but I still think that is the best option for infant placements.
God bless you!
MJ
06 June 2010
The Climb
Photography by Melissa L Jensen ~ please do not use without permission
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
I'm not a fan of Hannah Montana.
I've never seen an episode of the show
I didn't see the movie, but...
I
LOVE
THIS
SONG!
I think it says a lot about life
It could be applied to waiting in an adoption
Or it could be a song for birth families
Mostly this song helps me remember that in order to appreciate and savor the good things in life we have to know what the struggles feel like. Our lives weren't meant to be a leisurely stroll. Sometimes we are given speed bumps, just enough to get us to slow down for a moment, and then we are on our way again. Other times we are given hills. They definitely take more time than a speed bump to overcome, but most of us can navigate a hill in stride. Then there are times in our lives that we are faced with an entire mountain.
Can't go under it...
Can't go around it...
Can't go through it...
We just have to take one step at a time
and climb it, to get to where we are headed.
I am grateful for the mountains.
I surely wouldn't ask for any in my life
...but I can see how climbing the mountain can
make me a stronger person in the future.
27 May 2010
Rearranging and changes
Photography by Melissa L Jensen ~ please do not use without permission
I am going to try something new with our adoption blog. I learned how to create "pages" recently, so now all of our adoption profile information is located at the top of the blog (just under the picture). We are still very interested in an open adoption and this spot will be for journaling now instead of a dormant profile. =)
We will be living in Alaska for four more weeks, and then the Coast Guard is transferring us to Honolulu, HI. We weren't expecting to be moving so soon, and we sure weren't expecting to be transferred back to Hawaii!! We are getting more excited about returning. We lived on the island of Maui for three years, and this time we will be living on the island of Oahu. We have been blessed to live in many beautiful places in the world. Alaska is amazing with it's raw, natural beauty. We live among glaciers and mountains, with eagles, ravens, bears, halibut, and salmon. It is also very beautiful and green here. We love living in Southeast Alaska and plan on settling here when our time with the Coast Guard is over.
Hawaii on the other hand is truly paradise. Besides the gorgeous beaches, palm trees, and perfect weather...the people of Hawaii are the most loving people we have ever had the experience of knowing. We're so thankful we were able to experience the love and aloha of the island of Maui and we will forever be grateful for the time that we had there. People have asked us which place we like more...and it is hard to say. We have loved living in both of these areas. It's really hard to choose a favorite.
Now a little about adoption...
We still feel the pull of our 5th child...telling us to be patient and not to forget about him/her. We started our paperwork in Nov. 2006. Our worker told us it would be a long wait. She told us to be positive, but that families with more than two children usually had to wait a lot longer than those with one or no children. We are letting the Lord guide us in this adventure. He helps us to not get too discouraged.
We will be living in Alaska for four more weeks, and then the Coast Guard is transferring us to Honolulu, HI. We weren't expecting to be moving so soon, and we sure weren't expecting to be transferred back to Hawaii!! We are getting more excited about returning. We lived on the island of Maui for three years, and this time we will be living on the island of Oahu. We have been blessed to live in many beautiful places in the world. Alaska is amazing with it's raw, natural beauty. We live among glaciers and mountains, with eagles, ravens, bears, halibut, and salmon. It is also very beautiful and green here. We love living in Southeast Alaska and plan on settling here when our time with the Coast Guard is over.
Hawaii on the other hand is truly paradise. Besides the gorgeous beaches, palm trees, and perfect weather...the people of Hawaii are the most loving people we have ever had the experience of knowing. We're so thankful we were able to experience the love and aloha of the island of Maui and we will forever be grateful for the time that we had there. People have asked us which place we like more...and it is hard to say. We have loved living in both of these areas. It's really hard to choose a favorite.
Now a little about adoption...
We still feel the pull of our 5th child...telling us to be patient and not to forget about him/her. We started our paperwork in Nov. 2006. Our worker told us it would be a long wait. She told us to be positive, but that families with more than two children usually had to wait a lot longer than those with one or no children. We are letting the Lord guide us in this adventure. He helps us to not get too discouraged.
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